The Age of Engagement

Yesterday, I had the enormous privilege of watching two of my best friends in the world get engaged. It was like a dream. I gazed on; my eyes starting to tear and my cheeks throbbing from the pressure of my gaping smile.

"Is this happening? Is this really happening? Oh my poop, this is happening! This is actually happening! THIS IS FINALLY HAPPENING!"

I was aghast. This moment, which had been talked about for years, had finally arrived. The surreality of it all made the 20-second encounter seem like hours. I was laughing, crying, and sweating like I had just crossed the finish line of a triathlon. You would have thought this was MY engagement...

How could this moment be here? I'm just a kid, right? When did I get old enough to have married friends? Needless to say, I've found myself in a mid-twenties life crisis and have spent the last two days reliving our friendships to answer those questions.

This specific engagement is quite special for many different reasons, the first being that this was the first proposal I had ever witnessed. But the second reason is that I knew both Jeff and Cami separately before they knew each other and was blessed enough to experience the story of their relationship unfold. Jeff and I met back in high school. Our freshman year, we were both cast in a very small, unknown musical called Guys and Dolls. The two of us, just barely 14 years old, were chosen as the two "Gangsters" who open the show by singing about Nathan Detroit (played by Frank Sinatra in the film version) and the envied crap game he ran. Needless to say, the two of us were nervous as all get out, which allowed us to bond quite naturally. Jeff and I became good friends and did theatre together the rest of high school. But it wasn't until college that we really hit it off. More on that soon... I attended Azusa Pacific University from 2010 to 2014. Seriously, and I know many people say this, but they were the best four years of my life. APU was my home. The Angeles National Forest foothills provided an unparalelled backdrop for the beautiful campus that filled you with the feeling of comfort. The APU theatre department literally saved my life and provided me with an education and experiences for which I am forever grateful. And within these campus grounds, I met some of the most amazing, talented, loving, kind, Christ-like, all-around incredible people who filled my life with JOY.

One of those amazing people was Cami. When I was first introduced to Cami by her roommate (a mutual friend of ours) towards the end of our first semester, we exchanged 5 words a piece.

Me: "Hi. Nice to meet you." Her: "Nice to meet you too." She was very shy and quiet. Donning a Chicago Bears t-shirt, blue jean cutoff shorts, and a pair of grey running shoes, Cami and I said our words, nodded with a polite smile, and went our separate ways. Second semester brought a few more kind words and awkward nods until we parted for the summer. Our fall semester of sophomore year, I rekindled a friendship with Jeff after not seeing him the year before. Our campus was small enough for our paths to cross here and there, but our friend circles never collided, so neither did we. This year, however, we reunited during our university production of the Tony-winning musical, The Drowsy Chaperone. Joining us in the cast was Cami's roommate. I'm sure you can see where this is going... Long story (somewhat) short, I began hanging out with Cami more often and we became fast friends. Later in the semester, Jeff began to join our group, and before you knew it, the three of us were inseperable. Within the year, Cami and Jeff began dating, and the three of us had become the epitome of FAMILY. Through highs and lows, the gaining and losing of other friendships, and the rigorious BFA program in which we were trained, our friendship strengthened further than I ever knew it could. We knew each other so well it was actually frightening.

Before I knew it, we found ourselves at our college graduation, a day I truly never thought would come. After all the work we put in over four years, I crossed that stage, grabbed my diploma, and thought, "I'm not sure I deserve this!" Surely I'm too young, too immature. Surely I have much more to learn before becoming a... oh, shit, what do you call it... an "adult." But before I could finish the thought I was off the stage and saying goodbye to all of my friends–my family–perhaps for the last time. But not for Jeff, Cami, and me. No, sir: I had proudly third-wheeled the love birds for years and I wasn't planning on leaving them now, or letting them leave me. Over my dead body. But really I didn't think I could survive. We had the grand plan, as everyone does, of getting a large house and all living together. A flat of starving artists, working at Starbucks, living on Safeway-brand crackers and unfiltered, poluted, Los Angeles tap water. But doing life together. That's all we wanted. Alas, the story turns. Through unforseen circumstances (as per usual when God gives you direction in life), I find myself typing this in a suburb of Minneapolis, Minnesota, exactly 1,893 miles away from them. And though I love them with all my heart, and I know they love me, the distance is unignorable. I have missed a large part of their lives over the last year, for a plethora of reasons, and I have especially missed this last growing portion of their relationship. SO, when I heard that Jeff would be proposing, I was shocked. "Already?" I thought, even though they had been together for three years. It was then I realized how much I had missed and how much things had changed. But then yesterday happened. Jeff graciously allowed two other friends from college and me to make the 7 and a 1/2 hour drive from Minneapolis to Cami's home in Illinois, where the proposal would be taking place. We met up with her parents and drove to "the spot."

When we first gazed out on them from our hiding spot about 100 yards away, my heart instantly sped up. I actually thought I was having a heart attack. I got short of breath and I couldn't stop making these noises, not unlike a dog hearing it's owner pull up in the driveway. He stood, pulled the ring out of his pocket, and knelt. IT WAS HAPPENING. I thought back to the first time we had all met, then the first time we had all hung out, then to graduation and my move away from Los Angeles... How did we all get here? She accepted the ring. The two kissed and cried on the bank of the beautiful pond they were picknicking beside until Jeff told her that there was another surprise waiting at the house; this being us. They began the ascent towards the house. We were inconsolable. It was done. They were engaged. How would this change things even more? This would be the first encounter with the happy couple in many many months; what do I say? Pushing aside the plauging questions, we stormed out on the back porch and yelled to the couple and Cami stopped in her tracks. She dropped her supplies and raised both hand to cover her mouth. More tears. It was in this moment I realized NOTHING had changed. Sure, certain circumstances and locations were, for lack of a better term, "different." But we shared the same love and understanding, vibrant as ever, for each other. The rest was a whirlwind of a blur. There was a group hug, tears, champagne, cake, and lots of laughter. And then, within the blink of an eye, our visit came to an end. We spent a total of 12 hours with the newly enhanced lovebirds, and we had to be on our way. I said goodbye to Jeff with a hug in which I tried to give a decade of affection. Then to Cami. There she was, wearing that damn t-shirt, with those damn jean shorts, and those damn grey running shoes, only now with a diamond ring on her finger. I smiled and hugged her, telling her I loved her, hoping that she really knew just how much. And then we drove away. Life hadn't stopped for our little reunion. The 7 and 1/2 hours back to Minneapolis gave me time to try and comprehend all that had just happened and is happening. Life, which is really just one giant game of Guess and Check, has a constant forward momentum, and time waits for no one, no matter how hard we try to slow it down.

So stop trying. Grab on and fly with it! I don't understand how I got here, how my community of friends and I are all of a sudden pretending how to be adults by doing "adulty" things, but IT'S HAPPENING. People are getting adult married, getting adult jobs, buying adult homes and cars, doing adult chores, getting adult insurance policies, buying adult furniture, reading adult books, watching adult movies, writing adult sentences, and learning adult things; and just doing the best they can.

And that's all we can do! And as insane and frightening and, let's be honest, stupid as this is, there are two things that will allow us to survive and thrive: GOD, and those He has put in our lives. Paul tells us in Romans 8: "For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (ESV). And, as I found out this week, neither place, nor time difference, nor church preference, nor job schedules, nor mutual friends/enemies, nor petty drama, nor political affiliation, nor failures or successes, nor any other earthly bullshit can break up the love that best friends, who I refer to as my family, share for each other. Moral: Cherish those around you, and let them cherish you. Life may take our paths in many different directions, but I know that no matter where mine goes, I have life-long friends, along with a God, who love me no matter the circumstances. And that makes everything worth while.

So I say thank you to every person who has volunteered to be my friend, to be my family, and to love me. I pray with all my might you feel that back from me. And to Cami and Jeff, here's to Happily Ever After: To the two of you. And to the three of us.